


I Found Home on Christmas

by hazelNuts



Series: 25 Days of Christmas [16]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (it's Allison's I'm sorry), Angst, Christmas, Future Fic, Mention of Character Death, Multi, Senior year, So much angst, canon!verse, hints about pre-slash sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelNuts/pseuds/hazelNuts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Last year, he’d been in London. He’d partied his way through Christmas break. He’d missed Beacon Hills, then. Even with all the shitty things that had happened, he’d missed it. He’d missed the people, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Found Home on Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really bad at tagging. If you think I forgot any, please let me know in the comments.

Jackson is in the last place he ever thought he’d be. He’s sitting on the back porch of the Stilinski house. It’s Christmas Eve Day and the entire pack is gathered here.

Last year, he’d been in London. He’d partied his way through Christmas break. He’d missed Beacon Hills, then. Even with all the shitty things that had happened, he’d missed it. He’d missed the people, too.

Now, he has what he wanted so badly, and he doesn’t know what do with it.

The pack had been surprisingly welcoming. He still doesn’t always feel like he deserved that, with the way he’d left things.

~

The day he’d come back, one of the first things he’d done, was apologize to Lydia. He hadn’t expected her to forgive him. And she hadn’t, not then. She’d accepted the apology, but told him that she wasn’t sure if they could ever be anything again. Maybe not even friends.

He’d nodded, and said he didn’t expect her to.

The rest of the pack hadn’t been as nice, especially Stiles and one of the new girls, Malia. She’d actually growled at him when she’d walked past him, for the entire first week. Scott had thrown him some contemplative looks, but hadn’t done more than welcome him back to Beacon Hills. The Asian girl, Kira, had looked at him like she wanted to hug him. Liam just ignored him.

Jackson hadn’t expected a warm welcome, but he’d hoped that he would be invited to run with them on the full moon, or whatever it was they did. But they hadn’t, so he’d spent the night in his room, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him.

Danny had shown up around mid-night. They’d watched movies, and ate too much popcorn. It wasn’t ideal, but Jackson knew it was the best he could expect.

Overall, he’d kept his head down. He worked hard for his grades, made sure he did some extra stuff that looked good on his college application. That was it. That had been his life in Beacon Hills for almost two months.

A week before the next full moon, Stiles had dropped his tray down in front of him at lunch.

‘So,’ Stiles had said. ‘You seem less of an asshole and Lydia says she’s okay with you hanging out with us on the full moon. The question is, do you own The Dark Knight Trilogy?’

Jackson had simply looked at Stiles, eyebrows raised. He went through all the possible answers in his head.

‘Of course, I do, you idiot,’ he eventually settled on.

‘Great,’ Stiles had said with a smile. ‘You’re bringing the movie. We’re spending the night at Derek’s loft. Danny can tell you where it is. Hey, bring Danny. It’ll be fun.’

‘No it won’t,’ Danny had responded, sitting down next to Jackson. ‘It will be a night of you and Derek pretending not to want into each other’s pants.’

‘Fucking knew it,’ Jackson had muttered, while Stiles had done his best to deny any and all desire to find out what Derek was hiding behind his jeans’ zipper.

Stiles’ sputtering denials were interrupted by Scott bounding over, followed by the rest of the McCall pack.

‘Is he coming?’

‘Of course, he is,’ Lydia had answered for him, setting her tray next to Stiles’.

Jackson had looked on in surprise as the rest of them took their seats. He’d glanced at Danny, but his friend had only shrugged his shoulders.

~

After that, Beacon Hills had started to feel more like home. He’d go out, usually with Danny, to Jungle. Stiles would join them too, once in a while. It was weird how easily he and Stiles had bonded. He figured that, now that neither of them was chasing after Lydia, they’d realized that it was more fun to be assholes together.

Stiles wasn’t the only one he’d bonded with. He’d started to help tutor Malia in Chemistry and she was a great sparring partner in training. They both had tempers and played dirty.

Kira was simply nice to be around. She was the only one who had accepted him without judgement on his kanima days.

Scott was still Scott, and accepted him into the pack the second he got the okay from Stiles.

Things with Derek had been a little more awkward, at first. The werewolf had changed a lot and Jackson hadn’t really known how to approach him. The others apparently did, because they had shoved them into Scott’s bedroom the first pack-night Jackson had joined them. Derek had apologized, saying that he could never make up for what he’d done. Jackson had lost his resentment towards him a long time ago, and he told him that. They’d hugged and that was it.

Lydia had been the hardest to be around. Not because he still felt guilty, but because he’d realized he’d never really known her. He’d always seen her as Lydia Martin, the phenomenon, the girl that had ruled every school they’d been to. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known she was smart or softer on the inside than she appeared. He just hadn’t really cared. They had used each other to stay on top. And in a way they had loved each other, but it had been far from healthy.

Jackson didn’t meet Parrish until early November. He’d been speeding to get home, when he got pulled over. After looking to see who was in the cruiser, he’d put on his best smile at the sight of the nicely clinging trousers and boyish face.

He’d been a little miffed that the deputy hadn’t even looked at him, when he’d handed over his licence and registration. Hope of getting out of a ticket had returned however, when the man bent down and leaned his forearms on the window frame.

‘Jackson Whittemore? The latest addition to the pack?’

Jackson had nodded and taken back his papers, one eyebrow cocked.

‘Jordan Parrish,’ the other man introduced himself.

‘The dragon,’ Jackson had said and shook the extended hand.

‘I’m going to let you off with a warning this time. Only because no one else is on the road right now, and you wouldn’t have gotten into an accident with your reflexes. Next time I will ticket you. Most of the people her are human. Don’t forget that.’

Jackson had ridden off, planning ways to get those clingy trousers off.

When he’d told Danny about it, his friend had nicely, but firmly, told him to back off. Lydia and Parrish had been dating, unofficially, for at least six months. It would become official on Lydia’s 18th birthday.

He’d sighed, but immediately revised his plan. He’d be friends with Parrish.

~

By the time Lydia’s birthday came around, Jackson felt more or less established in the pack. He was friends with Stiles and Kira. And though he wasn’t exactly friends with Lydia, they weren’t avoiding each other either.

The party had been very different from what Jackson was used to. Instead of half the school, all the people the girl had invited to the lake house, were pack. He’d understood, though. He would’ve been more surprised if she had thrown a lavish party. With her banshee powers still developing, crowds could be uncomfortable. Plus, it wasn’t long after the anniversary of Allison’s death. Nobody had really felt like celebrating.

‘I still miss her,’ Lydia had said to him.

He’d been sitting outside, looking out over the lake. He hadn’t even heard her approaching.

‘Me, too,’ he’d said. ‘You know she contacted me? It was right after everything that had happened with the Alpha Pack.’

‘I know, she told me. She also told me you had a boyfriend.’

‘Yeah, Christian,’ he said with a smirk. ‘God, he was an asshole.’

‘You’re one to talk.’

Jackson had laughed at that. She’d been right, of course. He’d changed over the past year, just like them, but he was still kind of a dick.

‘Well, can you imagine what he was like, then? Allison told me to break up with him in our second conversation. She said, that if a guy flirted with other people while you were standing right next to him, it was best to punch him in the dick and walk away.’

‘Did you punch him?’

‘In the nose. I totally should have gone for the dick.’

Jackson had tried to swallow down the lump in his throat.

‘She was also the first to forgive me, I hadn’t even forgiven myself yet,’ he’d whispered.

Lydia squeezed his hand.

‘You know I’ve forgiven you too, right? We all have in the past couple of months,’ she’d said.

They had stayed like that for a couple more minutes, looking out over the lake. Jackson had started to think that maybe they could be friends. Maybe, now that they were both better people, things between them could be better, too.

‘Jordan is coming by after his shift?’ he’d asked.

‘Yes. You jealous?’ She’d turned to him, raising her eyebrows, but he could see a twinkle in her eyes.

‘No,’ he’d answered, and he’d truly believed it. ‘I’m happy for you.’

~

Parrish had arrived a little after eleven. Lydia had jumped into is arms and promptly started a make out session. Some things never changed.

At the sight of the two kissing, Jackson’s heart had clenched a little. At first he’d thought it was something residual, from when he and Lydia had dated. But it hadn’t felt like it used to, it had felt new and different. He’d quickly gotten up and gone to the kitchen, muttering something about getting Parrish a drink.

He’d expected someone to notice the skip in heartbeat or the souring of his scent, but the person that had walked into the kitchen after him was Stiles. He’d silently cursed Stiles’ observational skills.

‘Everything okay there?’ the guy had asked.

‘Please don’t.’

Stiles had stepped closer and observed him in silence.

‘Look, I’m happy for them. I really am. I didn’t plan on this to happen,’ he’d started babbling, nervous under Stiles’ scrutiny.

‘Okay, but if you do something stupid, I will find a way to fill your balls with wolfsbane.’

Jackson had flinched. ‘No need to worry. I’ll do anything to keep your hands of my junk.’

Stiles had punched him in the shoulder and they hadn’t spoken about it since. But just because he didn’t talk about it, didn’t mean Jackson didn’t think about it.

That night, when he’d lain in bed, the image of Lydia and Parrish kissing popped back into his head. Earlier, he’d thought he was jealous of Parrish. But he’d been hit with the sudden realization he’d been jealous of Lydia too.

He’d screamed into his pillow. Why couldn’t things stay good? Why did he always have to screw it up?

At the beginning of the night he’d been friends with Parrish and gotten hopeful about being friends with Lydia. Now, he’d realized he had a crush on both of them.

~

His first plan had been to avoid them both. He hadn’t counted on Lydia’s tenacity. Apparently she too, had thought they could be friends, so friends they would be. She’d sat next to him in AP French and then decided he could join the little study group she and Stiles had set up.

Jordan was just as hard to avoid. He was everywhere. At the coffee shop Jackson liked, at the grocery store, even at the mall when he was looking for Christmas presents.

The pack-nights had stopped being fun. The two would always be cuddled up together on the couch, looking deliriously happy. Stiles had always managed to direct him somewhere he wouldn’t be looking straight at them, but there wasn’t much that could be done about their mingling scents and the happy beating of their hearts.

The worst had been when they had started to ask him to hang out with them. There had been dinner invites, coffee invitations and even a trip to the movies.

Jackson tried not to let it get to him. He really was happy that they were happy together, but it didn’t take away any of the sadness that it wasn’t with him.

~

He sighs into his mug of hot chocolate, that has already gone cold in the December air. He hears footsteps approaching and a few seconds later Jordan sits down next to him.

‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed some air.’

The man doesn’t look like he believes it, but thankfully doesn’t push.

‘You ready to come back inside then?’

‘Sure.’

He steps through the door, but Parrish stops him with a hand on his shoulder. He points up at the sprig of mistletoe and shrugs apologetically.

‘Sorry. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.’

Jackson is about to take the out, when Scott looks at them with his puppy eyes.

‘But it’s tradition. I had to kiss Stiles and Liam.’

He knows that it’s a really stupid idea and that it’s not going to do anything to help get him over the deputy, but Jackson nods. ‘It’s fine.’

The moment Jordan looks at him and gently cradles his face in his hands, Jackson realizes he severely underestimated the stupidity of saying yes. And when their lips touch, he knows he’s fucked. He has to use all his willpower to not grab the man and push him against the doorframe. Instead he puts his hands on his hips and pulls back after only a second or so. He manages a small smile and then all but runs to the bathroom. He sees Stiles throwing him a concerned look, but he shakes his head. He really needs to be alone for a minute.

He locks the door behind him and leans his head against the wall. He tries to slow down his heartbeat and his breathing. He automatically searches for the voices of his packmates. That’s how he’d learned to control it. Look for friends, the people you trust.

He hears the murmur of familiar voices and it’s starting to work, when he picks up Lydia’s voice saying his name.

‘- should ask Jackson. I don’t know how he’ll take it coming from me.’

‘Maybe you’re right. I’ll ask him later. But he hasn’t taken up any of the hints so far.’

‘Perhaps you should be more direct? Tell him exactly how things are.’

Jackson jerks his head up. They know. Fuck. They know. He has to leave. Now.

He quietly steps out of the bathroom and grabs his coat and keys. He’s halfway to his car when he hears Lydia calling out to him.

‘Jackson? Where are you going?’

‘I’m sorry, Lyds.’ He knows those are the most hurtful words he could say to her at this moment. They’re the same words he’d said when he’d left to go to London, but he needs her to leave him alone. He hears the sharp intake of breath and the way her heart stops for a moment. He thinks it worked.

‘No. Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare do this again,’ she yells after him.

He gets in his car and pushes the gas pedal to the floor. He nearly hits the brakes when he looks into his rear-view mirror and sees Parrish standing next to her, when he sees the looks on their faces.

He keeps driving.

~

He’d never really understood why the coffee shop was still open on Christmas Eve every year, but he is grateful for it now.

He’s nursing a cappuccino and picking apart a muffin. He has no idea how he’s going to explain this. There is no way he can just swagger back in and laugh it off. Maybe he could pull a Derek and become a hermit for a year. Although, that hadn’t exactly worked out for the werewolf. Stiles hadn’t left Derek alone then, he wouldn’t leave Jackson to his misery either.

He pulls his hands through his hair. Perhaps he should just fess up, get it out of the way and then they could all try to move on. At least that would be something they could understand.

The little bell over the shop’s door rings and he looks up to see Parrish stepping through. The deputy walks up to him and sits down in the chair opposite.

‘Why did you run off like that, Jackson?’

He swallows. Well, apparently there is no time like the present. Fuck you very much, universe.

‘Because I screwed up. I’m sorry.’

Parrish is frowning. ‘What are talking about?’

‘You know what I mean. I heard you and Lydia talking. And I’ll stay away I promise, I’m happy for you.’

The look on the man’s face can’t be described as anything other than flabbergasted.

‘I’m completely at a loss here.’

‘I’m talking about the fact that I’m falling for you both,’ Jackson says with sigh. ‘I’ll try to stop, really.’

The look on Jordan’s face isn’t what he expects. The guy is smiling and he places his hands over Jackson’s, to stop him tearing apart the sugar packet.

‘We don’t want you stop. That’s what we were talking about.’

‘What?’

‘We’ve been trying to get you to go out with us for a few weeks now.’

Jackson can only stare at him, because this is not something that happens to him. Ever. Things don’t turn out to be ‘just a misunderstanding’. Things fall apart, that’s how it’s always happened.

‘We started talking about it not long after Lydia’s birthday. She’d told me that she thought she might be having feelings for you again. I told her that I liked you a lot. We thought that maybe we could try this, the three of us, but you kept turning us down. Tonight was going to be the last time we’d ask, because we thought that maybe you’d misunderstood. Which you have.’

He is squeezing Jordan’s hands together, but the guy doesn’t complain. He simply squeezes back and waits for him to talk.

‘Please be serious,’ he whispers.

‘I am serious. And so is Lydia, who is waiting by the car.’

Jackson snaps his head up and looks out the window. Lydia is leaning against her car, trying to look like she’s not nervous. He can’t help but smile a little. He really likes this Lydia, the real one, who fidgets with her scarf and bites her lip.

‘Come on. Let’s tell her the good news,’ Jordan says, pulling him out of his chair.

Lydia walks towards them when she sees them coming out of the coffee shop. One look at their faces is enough, because she throws her arms around Jackson and buries her face in his neck.

‘I forgive you, but if you ever do that again I will sick Stiles on you.’

‘Okay,’ Jackson says and hugs her back.

When they pull apart, she places a small kiss at the corner of his mouth.

~

Stiles gives him one glare when he walks through the door and then a wink. Scott and Liam have no idea what’s going on and Kira gives him a hug. He hears Malia mutter something about weird humans who don’t say what they want. Derek gives him a smile when he catches his eye.

They all move to the living room, where snacks and drinks are already waiting. They’re going to watch _An American Werewolf in London_ , in honour of Jackson’s first Christmas back. Stiles had vetoed any other movie.

He moves to sit in his customary place, by Stiles, but Lydia pulls him next to her on the couch. Jordan sits down on his other side. He’s a little manhandled by the two and after a minute or so he’s comfortably sandwiched between them.

‘Oh god,’ Stiles moans. ‘You guys are going to be disgustingly cute together, aren’t you?’

Derek snorts from where he’s sitting beside the human.

‘Screw you, Stilinski,’ Jackson says, then he smirks. ‘And screw you too, Derek. In fact, screw each other.’

He gloats when he sees them both flush. Maybe they should just shove them into a closet and wait for them to start making out.

He lets his head drop on Jordan’s shoulder and grabs Lydia’s hand to intertwine their fingers.

This isn’t where he’d expected to be this Christmas, but he’s really glad he’s here.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on [tumblr](http://fandom-madnessess.tumblr.com/).


End file.
